For not trying. For consciously keeping people out because I want to be alone for now… or forever. I don’t know.
But there are days when I want people to notice me and acknoweldge what I’ve been going through. I believe in a democracy of sorrow –no pain is greater than the other. Pain is pain however you may feel it for whatever reasons. Pain should be respected. I want people to respect this pain because I failed. Because I wanted this. Because I thought this was what I wanted. Because I was willing to put myself in it for the long run. Because, right now, it feels like I’m breaking my own heart again.
Because, because, because.
If you think this is for you, you are probably right.